Friday, September 11, 2009



Will I ever survive the teenage years.. For you that have teenagers will understand. The girl that climbed in my lap and wanted me to hold her, now is claiming her independence!
Pray for me.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

It is amazing how fast they grow. I just love everything about being a mom. How peaceful she seems just laying there in the afternoon amongst all the chaos. I remember when she was born. It seemed like yesterday. Time flies.
It seems sometimes that it goes to fast. That I am on this rollarcoaster with no brakes. That I can't stop it so I have to ride it out. How can One's heart feel so much happiness and so much sadness at the same time? Longing to capture every moment, not to take anything for granted. She brought me some roses from outside the other day and said "Here mommy I picked you some flowers." Those were the sweetest words adorned with "I Love You Mommy." God's greatest gift to me. I spend everyday keeping my head above water. Feeling like if I let go that I will sink. That everything will become further away from getting done. That the laundry will get too high, that the dishes will run away by themselves, that those letters will never be mailed, that dinner will be late, that the pictures will never make it into the scrapbooks, that I won't be able to get back to the top. Then just as I feel as though I can't tred any longer that I feel that I have used my last bit of energy, the you know that feeling of " How can I give anymore feeling"
The Savior reaches down and takes my hand and saves me.
I will remember to take the "Here are some flowers" moments and cherish them. To spend time where it matters.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

I know that we have all had one of those mornings (to often then not) where things just don't go the way we think they should go. Does the morning seem to go on longer then just the morning? Maybe it goes into the afternoon or the end of the week or the end of the month. When things aren't flowing for me I know that I need to reevaluate what I am doing. Maybe I need to say "Heck with it" or "Maybe this isn't what I am supposed to be doing right now" or "maybe I should walk away for awhile". This morning kind of went that way. I had some frustrations this morning but that frustration was a chance for me to sit quietly for a minute (after of course calling and venting to my Dad) and "reevaluate" the situations in my life. What is life trying to tell me. "Shhhhh"...... I said to myself. Just listen. I have learned from one of the best teachers in my life "MY MOM" when to just let things go. "You don't have to say yes to everything", "always sit up straight", "make sure your dishes are done and the whole house will seem clean", "make your beds right when you get up", "every once in a while go to a bookstore and buy a book or two or three or four or five or six" (well you get the picture mom), and when the times get tough and you feel closed in "take the kids to a movie and get some ice cream"(mom by the way, that activity has saved my life with the kids ). There were times throughout these 15 years that I didn't know how to get through a crisis or a very difficult situation and I would call my mom and ask her to tell me to "Buck up" and pull myself together. All those times when I was a child and through my growing years my mom would tell me to "buck up" get back up on that horse and ride. When married life and motherhood came into the picture life got really hard sometimes riding the emotional, physical, and mental rollar coaster that we all have tickets for, I would call my mom to beg her for those words "buck up" or "Come on you can do this". I am ever so grateful for the sacrifices that my mom had walked through and continues to walk through for me. I don't live close to my mom right now and it has been a blessing. "What"? you say, after saying so many great things about your mom. Being away has helped me every single day (especially with teenagers) "groan", appreciate her more then I ever thought I would. I am constantly saying to my kids "oh, what I put my mother through" and I would feel a genuine sadness for saying or doing or whatever it was that I did. Not realizing at that time what she was actually doing for me. I have to admit I thought that only the Grandchildren was what she wanted now but I was wrong. She loves me and needs me too. I Love you mom, my best friend.